Your Weekly INFJ Insight 👀
What if you leaned into the discomfort?
Your responses in last week's INFJ Story Club were nothing short of incredible – honest, vulnerable, and deeply inspiring.
Each of us walks a unique path, but hearing your stories of resilience and self-discovery was truly empowering. Choosing yourselves, even in the face of hardship, is a powerful reminder of your worth.
I’m deeply honored to share this journey of human experience with each and every one of you.
Now, on to today’s post…
Anxiety. Hesitation. Uncertainty. You’re probably no stranger to sitting with – and truly feeling – your own emotional discomfort. While you may not shy away from inner turmoil, you might hold back in practical and social situations that push you beyond your carefully constructed world. This likely stems from a desire to preserve your energy and protect your sensitive nature from overwhelming external stimuli. Although this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it may be keeping you from some of the most defining moments of your life, just beyond your comfort zone. Let’s take a closer look, shall we?
Today, we’ll explore the following:
The INFJ tendency to guard your space
The (surprising) impact of protective boundaries
Three practical tips to help you apply this insight to your life
A hard-hitting question to ask yourself in order to learn and grow (discuss in the comments with your fellow INFJs!)
The INFJ tendency to guard your space:
You likely thrive in controlled environments where you can manage the flow of energy and interaction, allowing you to function at your best. The thought of disrupting your carefully calibrated routines might trigger resistance. Not only have you worked hard to create processes that suit you, but disrupted routines (or unexpected social situations) can also feel particularly taxing thanks to your heightened sensitivity to external stimuli. This might even drive you to choose familiar discomfort over unknown territory, even when that familiar space no longer serves your growth.
The impact of protective boundaries:
Your instinct to create protective boundaries serves a beautiful and important purpose – it helps you stay grounded and effective in your unique way of being. While this protection preserves your energy and allows for deep inner work, it can sometimes limit your range of experiences and end up protecting you from not just negative outcomes but positive ones, too. Think of it like a comfort bubble that, while cozy and safe, might be getting a bit snug. Over time, you might notice that situations that once felt manageable start to seem more challenging, simply because they’ve become unfamiliar. It’s not that you’re becoming more sensitive – you might be just a bit out of practice with navigating certain types of discomfort.
3 practical tips to help you apply this insight:
Practice being imperfect in public – share an unpolished thought or genuine laugh. Your authenticity matters more than your image.
Try reframing anxiety as excitement – they often feel the same in your body. That flutter might be anticipation, not fear.
Build your “discomfort muscle” gradually – create a ladder of mildly uncomfortable situations and climb one rung at a time.
Your careful nature isn’t a flaw, INFJ – it’s part of what makes you so insightful and impactful in others’ lives. But just as you encourage growth in those around you, you deserve to expand your own horizons. Each small step outside your comfort zone builds confidence for the next one. The world needs your unique perspective and gifts, even (and especially!) when sharing them feels uncomfortable.
Here’s one final question to ask yourself today:
What kind of life do you want to lead – one rooted in safety and comfort, or one that challenges you with discomfort and new possibilities for growth?
Both approaches are entirely valid. This question isn’t designed to force you to pick one or the other but rather to approach your life consciously and intentionally, in a way that feels right for you.
I’d love to hear your perspective. If you’re open to it, drop your response in the comments. It’s a great chance for us to connect and learn from each other’s experiences!
Have you seen our other publication, Leadership by 16Personalities? In this newsletter, we dive deep into the challenges that each personality type faces so that you can empower them to be their best selves in the workplace and beyond. (Psst…you don’t need to be a manager to be a leader.) We invite you to join us in our current exploration of holiday wellness for leaders.
I have always been called shy and introverted. Quiet. But people close to me also see my crazy, funny and silly side. I figure if I can be outgoing with people I know the only thing stopping me from doing that with people I don't know is: Me. I start small. I make eye contact and give a smile or say good morning to a stranger as we pass each other on the street. I have given myself a target of 2-3 people to do this with every week. That also forces me to leave my house 😆
I want a life that challenges me with discomfort and new possibilities for growth, but at the same time, I'm too afraid of uncertainties. Whenever things go out of my plans or out of control. I almost lost my direction and mind. I'm trying to manage it but it's difficult, my fear always steps in and forces me to play the "safe game" although inside of me, someone wants to be challenged and wants growth, but I think the same human inside me is afraid of discomfort and stops me... It's like a tug of war inside...