The Art of First Impressions

Your Weekly INFJ Insight and Journal Prompt 👀

Image from 16personalities.com

Have you ever noticed how quickly you form first impressions of people? That subtle sense of “yes, this person” or “no, not for me” that seems to arise from nowhere? If you have, you’re not alone in this experience.

In fact, INFJs are the most likely personality type to say they can usually tell whether they’re going to like someone before talking to them. This tends to happen because you notice energy and authenticity in ways that others typically don’t.

The challenge is that while this intuitive filtering serves you well, it might also mean missing out on relationships that could surprise you. Let’s examine both the power and the potential pitfalls of reading people so quickly.

Trusting Your First Read

When you meet someone new, you often pick up on things that might not be immediately obvious to others. Maybe it’s how they make eye contact, or the way they respond when someone else is talking. You might notice if their words match their energy, or if something feels slightly off even when they’re saying all the right things.

This happens because you’re naturally attuned to authenticity and emotional undertones.

While others focus on what someone is saying, you’re also noticing how they’re saying it and what they’re not saying. This gives you information that can be genuinely helpful – like sensing when someone shares your values or recognizing when a person might not be a good fit for your energy.

The Risk of Snap Decisions

But here’s where this skill can work against you: when you decide someone isn’t “your person” within the first few minutes, you might stop being curious about them entirely.

You could miss learning that the person who seemed uninteresting actually shares your passion for social justice, or that someone who felt too intense is dealing with something difficult and could use a friend.

Quick assessments work well for obvious red flags, but they’re less reliable for detecting potential that might emerge over time. Some people take longer to warm up, some are different in group settings versus one-on-one, and some might connect with you over shared experiences rather than shared energy.

Learning from the Exceptions

Understanding how your first impressions work – and when they might mislead you – can help you use this ability more intentionally. Let’s examine a time when your initial read didn’t tell the whole story.

Today, your journal prompt is:

Think of a time when your first impression of someone turned out to be completely wrong. What did you miss initially, and what helped you see them more clearly?

If you’re struggling to think of examples, you might be looking for dramatic reversals when subtler shifts are more common. Consider people who grew on you gradually – maybe someone whose humor you didn’t initially appreciate, or whose quietness you mistook for disinterest.

These exceptions can help you stay curious about the complexity of human nature and remind you that meaningful connections sometimes develop in unexpected ways.

Balancing Intuition and Openness

Your ability to read people quickly isn’t something to abandon – it’s often accurate and genuinely protective. But recognizing when to trust that immediate sense and when to stay curious can help you make the most of both your intuitive gifts and the surprising potential of human connection.

We’d love to hear from you: Can you think of someone who completely surprised you after a lukewarm or negative first impression? What helped you see them in a new light? Share your story in the comments – your experience might help another INFJ.

P.S. Want practical strategies for staying open to connection while honoring your energy? This Thursday’s Action Plan will give you tools for using your first impression abilities intentionally without closing doors prematurely.